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I'm baaaaaack. I know you've been dying for me to come back an entertain you, so how about a little story or two from my trip?

Let's start with our trip. We flew Delta, because we didn't buy the tickets, and that's what we got. Delta is a good airline when they want to be. And right now, they want to be, because they treated us very well.

First of all, we had to get up at 3am to get to the airport in time. Because Baby Spooge had a nasty rash the night before, we were working on 1 hour's sleep when we got up at 3. We drove to the parking lot, and took the shuttle to the terminal. Of course, in the Post 9/11 Days, that means the END of the terminal, and you can walk a few hundred yards to the counter. Well, maybe a lot of hundred yards. And it's nice when curbside check-in doesn't open on time. THANKS VERY MUCH FOR STAYING CLOSED, ASS-DARTS. It was 28 degrees, we were dragging a baby, 3 suitcases, 3 carry-ons, a car-seat, and a stroller. Would it have hurt them to open curbside check-in on time?

I digress.

So, we got the counter (finally). The lady was very sympathetic, being the mother of twins. She got us all taken care of, and arranged to have our stroller available to us (through gate-checking) on our layover stop. We got through security in 5 minutes, and went straight to our concourse.

We had plenty of time for breakfast. Unfortunately, the counter staff at 5am still has the same sucky attitude as the other people who work during the day, only they're also pissed-off for having to work so early in the morning, so don't count on them to smile at you, greet you, or actually hand you your order. Be prepared for grumbling, cold soggy food, and for having it thrown at you.

We were given a little extra time to get on the plane first, since we were travelling "infant in arms." If you've never done this, you're lucky. It means that you have to cram yourself, your spouse, and a baby into 2 seats, both of which are so tiny that my shoulders can't rest flat in them. Luckily, Baby Spooge was a very good baby, and she slept on the way to Orlando.

Orlando was another airport. No more, no less. Well, it did have some shopping that didn't require us to leave the "secure" areas. That was a nice touch. When Tallahassee leaves the third world, maybe they can get a restaurant or something on their concourses. Anyway, we had lunch, and got to our other plane for the ride down to South Florida. We got to Ft. Lauderdale, only to be greeted by 82 degree temperatures and lots of Spanish. Welcome to Hell. Only Hell is cooler. We waded through numerous fashion violations (most of which involved midriff shirts and 200-pound women) to find our luggage and haul everything to the curb, where we were greeted by my sister-in-law. A friendly face softened my demeanor as we made our way to the confines of my brother's place. We rested until dinner, which was fantastic, and called it an early night.

Wednesday we set out to visit much family. We got to see Mrs. Spooge's grandfather, her grandmother, her mom, sister, brother, some strangers, a dog, and a seahorse. Don't ask beyond that. It was good to see family. We had a day, and we got to spend some quality time.

Thursday was (of course) Thanksgiving. My parents were completely surprised when they showed up at my brother's house and we answered the door. They were dying to see Baby Spooge, and they loved it. My brother and sister-in-law (I'm just going to call her my sister from now on, since I think of her that way anyway) had one hell of a feast. I got to try "Tur-duck-en" for the first time. It's a turkey (boned), stuffed with a duck (boned), stuffed with a chicken breast. There were so many side-dishes that my plate (which was the size of a Honda) couldn't hold a sample of everything. I tried to eat as much as I could, but I gave up before I would have been ill from over-eating. Besides, we know that leftovers are good, too. Anyway, Chris made these fantastic brownies, and I saved just enough room for one. Of course I ate 2 anyway, but that's beside the point. The only thing better than all of that food (and a great family get-together) would've been a Dolphin victory against the Cowboys. Oh yeah, we had that too. I put all of my Dolphins players in this week in fantasy football, too, so I had a great time.

Friday we went to the mall (like everyone else), and then went back so that company would find us at home. It was a mostly-quiet day, and we were still full from Thursday.

Saturday, Mrs. Spooge took Baby Spooge to her mom's house, to have "girl time." I went to Butterfly World with my brother and sister. What an amazing place. There's nothing more relaxing than acres of butterflies in lush tropical settings. Unless you go to the hummingbird room, or hand-feed the lorikeets. It was very relaxing, and soothing.

Sunday was yet another day of food and family. We did our traditional brunch. There's something about bagels, smoked fish, cream cheese, and a Sunday that just goes together. We did have a few hours to digest before my folks took us out for pizza. My dad needed me to hook up his new scanner, and fix some other stuff, but the focus of the day was still pizza.

Monday was a day to meet our friends Mike, Sara, and Gabby. Gabby is about 10 months older than Baby Spooge, so the girls got along wonderfully. They're both so cute, you just want to hug them both. We braved Sawgrass Mills, and it was good to see our friends.

Today was spent trekking home. Up at 6, early to the airport. Another disgruntled food service person at the airport (they must all hire from the same labor pool). A short flight to Tallahassee.

Oh yeah, Tallahassee. After experiencing their airport, I'm glad I went to college in Gainesville. Although the Delta people were nice, the security staff was a combined 13 IQ, and the lone "cafe" was outside of security. They had to x-ray my patty melts, and managed to knock everything over in the process. And that was after it took me 30 minutes just to get the damn things. The "cafe" staff ignored me for 20 minutes, then helped everyone else BUT me, then sent me to another place, then another person sent me back to the first clueless worker. Finally, Shanedra charged me nearly $30 for 2 patty melts, some chicken strips, 2 sodas, and a water. If I wasn't so hungry at that point, I'd have thrown it at her. Let me ask you - what self-respecting food establishment only has ONE worker at 12 noon? And what self-respecting worker would ignore a person for 20 minutes when they know damn well they're going to have to help them eventually?

Well, enough bitching about Tallahassee. The poor place is just a stop for people on their way to someplace real. I think the airport was the least helpful place I'd ever been, except for Judith at the Delta Connections counter. She took good care of us.

Anyway, we're home now, and it's good to be back here with the comforts of home.

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