home > weblog > 2004 > march > blog031404.php
Just damn. It's been so long, and so much pisses me off.
OK, let's start off by bitching about all of those TV commercials that advertise drugs. They fall into two distinct classes. The first is the actual pharmaceuticals, sanctioned by the FDA. Those are for drugs which have undergone the rigorous government testing and standards that make them "safe" to use, unless they kill you (like those fen-phen drugs).
The actual drugs that the FDA approves have to tell you the "most common side effects." They normally run these commercials at dinnertime, and they normally include such dinner-friendly topics such as diarrhea, abdominal cramping, bleeding, infections, etc. Just what I love to hear about at dinnertime. What's next? Let's see some old bitch tell her daughter about douching...
Many of the drugs have these minute-long commercials that show people having fun, without telling you what the drugs actually does, or why you should take it. This just pisses me off. There's nothing worse than someone wasting my time without telling me what it's about. And what's up with the side effects? I saw one last night for Ambien (you've all seen it) that lists DROWSINESS as a "side effect" for a pill designed as a sleep aid. Isn't that the fucking point of the drug in the first place???? How is that a "side effect?" To me, that's like saying that death is a "side effect" of being decapitated. Duh. Just fucking duh. How stupid do they think we are?
OK. Enough of that. The next group are the products that are advertised in the same manner as the real drugs, but are in fact non-prescription remedies. Also known as homeopathic, these products are not tested by the FDA, and in fact have no standards to assure quality, reliability, or safety. Ephedra was originally marketed in this manner. It helped so many people lose weight. Look at how nice Joey looks in his casket - he lost a lot of weight! Anyway, these products are more than happy to send you a 30-day sample, (since they want to hook you into a monthly cycle as a sucker) promising how they can relieve almost any problem with a once-a-day pill. Bullshit. And that ass-dart with the ugly-ass "wife" in the Enzyte commercial? Get the fuck off my TV set. You're ugly, your "wife" is ugly, and if I had a baseball bat, I'd smack that damn smile off your damn face. You're still a pencil-necked geek, and I hate you. And your "wife" puts the "homey" in "homeopathic."
Gee, that's therapeutic. Nothing like letting loose a little anger directed at nameless faces.
Last night I had to make a choice. I was driving home from my genuine imitation job, when I saw a car driving erratically ahead of me. For those who went to a public school, that's "e-ra-tick-lee", not "e-raw-tick-ly." Anyway, he was driving about 5 miles an hour below the posted speed limit, it was close to 1am late Saturday night / early Sunday morning, and ht was failing to maintain his lane. When I say failing to maintain his lane, I mean he was all over the road. He almost went completely off of the road and onto the shoulder several times, before swerving back. A couple of times, his hazard lights came on briefly. I mean, this guy was having serious problems driving. I got his license plate, and called 911. I hated to do it, but I was in fear for the other drivers. What if he killed someone that night? How would I feel? So, I had to call. He ended up getting off on my exit, but he missed the exit lanes and turned from the shoulder of the road, and he certainly wasn't slowed down by that red light. Well, then it was a challenge to see where he was headed. He ended up turning into a supermarket parking lot (note: it wasn't the same chain that I work for) and went inside. I followed him, while still on the phone with 911, and gave them a nice description of the driver. Police arrived shortly, and they "set up" on the car, awaiting his reappearance from the store, so that they could measure his level of impariment.
Now, this wasn't some young driver, or some blue-collar worker. This was a man in a button-down shirt and slacks, and he put on a sport coat. He was also driving a Mercedes. He had one of those "specialty" tags, the kind that pretentious assholes like to get to help them think that their $5 once a year makes a real difference to the environment, while they spend $7 on coffee each day. Anyway, I hate to ruin someone's life with a DUI, but I asked myself how I would feel if he killed someone I knew, and I had the power to stop him. I couldn't live with that, so I think I did the right thing.
Boy, I guess I did have something to say after all!
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